


Screaming Silence

by This_is_Riri



Series: Screaming Silence [1]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Immortality, Muteness, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-05-21 03:57:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 21,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14907876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_is_Riri/pseuds/This_is_Riri
Summary: Bonnie Bennett has been battling her inner-demons since she was nine years old and has been fine suffering alone in silence...What happens when the silence might risk her entire existence, along with everyone else's?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the vampire diaries or the characters. I just make them my puppets in my fanfictions.
> 
> Also, I recently watched Marvel's Cloak and Dagger and loved it. I guess I love the idea of two being better than one, so I wrote this.
> 
> Also, trigger warning. Just in case this is a trigger for anyone

"Your daughter has what we call elective mutism, more specifically, reactive mutism".

"What does that mean?"

"It means she can speak, but she doesn't want to".

Rudy Hopkins didn't try to hide his worry as he asked "How long will she stay like this?"

The doctor shook his head in sympathy, unable to give him false hope. "I don't know" he responded quietly before looking down at the little girl who's been staring at them the whole time, following their conversation. "It's up to her".

_Bonnie doesn't know how long she sat there craddling her mother's head in her arms. She knew she was dead, could see it in her empty eyes which faced the white ceiling of their living room, but saw nothing. Her heart must of stopped beating hours ago judging by the color of dusk outside and Bonnie knew..._

_"_ Honey, I booked you a session with Dr. Stevens, okay?" Her dad said on the drive home and stole a glimpse of her still looking out the window watching the cars pass by as if he hadn't said anything.

She read somewhere that nearly 1.3 million people died in road crashes each year, on average 3,287 deaths a day, with an additional 20-50 million left injured or disabled and apparently more than half of these fatal deaths occurred amongst young adults between the ages of 15-44.

She was nine years old and the fact that she didn't fall under that statistic affected her more than it should. "Bonnie, did you hear me?" She turned her head to her father when she felt his hand on her left forearm, his warmth seeping through her sweater and she tried not to flinch from the pressure.

"You are going to start seeing Dr. Stevens twice a week after school, okay?" He said hoping to get a reaction out of her, anything that showed she understood what he was saying and when he didn't get it he let go of her arm, sighing in frustration.

"I'm trying as hard as I can, but you gotta help me out here" he said, focused on the road again. That day was etched in his brain as much as it was in hers, it wasn't something he could easily forget since it was the day he lost them both.

" _She's dead". Those were the last words she spoke to him when he'd finally been able to pull her away from Abby's lifeless body._

_Wake up, go to work, make money to support his family and go home to a home cooked meal. That was their life in a nutshell, it was simple, maybe even boring, but theirs nonetheless. Coming home to a dead wife in his nine year old daughter's arms wasn't  something he thought he'd ever see, and yet..._

Bonnie started seeing Dr. Stevens as her dad said. It wasn't anything special, just one more thing she had to do. The doctor was nice enough, tried a little too hard at times, but never got frustrated when Bonnie just sat there looking out the window in a daze.

The bullying had gotten worse at school since her classmates found out she was seeing a shrink, it didn't matter though because she never felt it...she never felt anything other than minor physical pain once in a while.

"I got you something" Dr. Stevens said one day in one of their sessions and reached for her hand to gain her attention, which honestly wasn't necessary because she was always paying attention, to everything, but part of human nature is the need for reassurance that someone sees you, understands you and is there for you. That was something else she read, which was apparently true judging by how much her dad, teachers and doctors touched her forearm to get her attention.

She never knew what they saw in her eyes though because Bonnie never really looked at any of them, but rather looked through them at nothing in particular.

Dr. Stevens pulled a journal from her bag and handed it to her, "Bonnie, I want you to use this to express yourself, what you're feeling and also use it to communicate with people around you, especially your dad".

Bonnie looked down at the book in her hand. It had a brown leather cover, and a pen along with a padlock to lock away her secrets in, like she had any secrets that she would ever put on paper.

"I already told your dad and I'm hoping this will be the first step to helping you open up". Bonnie's eyes drifted back to the window, they were on the 23rd floor. She'd noticed this on her first day, when the doctor led her to her office and let her look around. When she first looked out the window she could barely make out the people at the bottom, people heading to work or heading home, going about their lives like the world wasn't what it was.

That night she got home and she'd read until something caught her eye:

_Possibly the reason jumping is not a popular suicide method is that self-preservation instincts can prevent someone from making the jump, and there can be time to reflect and decide against jumping on the journey to the chosen jump site, or even on the edge of it. So anyone considering this method needs to consider this, and plan their location for jumping very carefully._

She understood it like this; People want to die, until they don't.

Her dad got called by the school a few weeks later. They'd found her book,  "The guidance councilor found this in her locker after one of the girls in her class saw her reading it at the cafeteria" Principal Carter said in his musical voice as he handed her dad the book. Bonnie always believed his voice could calm down the angriest person, which she hoped to be the case with her dad.

"I don't understand" her dad said softly as he examined the book in his hand, but Bonnie knew he did, probably all too well. You don't live with a child who doesn't speak after holding her dead mother in her arms for hours and not have that thought cross your mind.

"We have reason to believe that Bonnie-"

"My daughter is not trying to kill herself" is all her dad said in response before he grabbed her hand from where she sat beside him and led her out the door, book in hand.

They never talked about it after that, but he became a lot more attentive. He lingered a little longer by the door after tucking her in, came by the school in the afternoons so she wouldn't sit alone and changed her doctor's visits to four times a week.

"Your dad's worried about you" Dr. Stevens said to her in one of their many sessions and she wondered if Dr. Stevens was as sick of having her here as she was of coming here. Probably not, she didn't seem like the type to get sick of anything and a small part of her was kinda grateful cause she was the closest thing she's ever had to a friend, except that her dad was paying her.

"And you're not using the journal I got you. Bonnie, how am I supposed to help you if you won't let me?" she asked and Bonnie looked through her again, her focus drawn to the bird perched on the windowsill.  The book was right, suicide by jumping off a building wasn't feasible.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when she came home with a bloody nose. This girl, Kerry, was in her class and Bonnie guessed her presence bothered her because why else would she snap like she did seeing as Bonnie has never spoken a word to her. She didn't even know Kerry existed until her and her friends cornered her, beat her up and stuffed her in her locker for hours after the final bell.

Her dad wasn't an idiot, he knew about the bullying, but he didn't know it was this bad and the finality in his voice when he said that she wasn't going back to that school told her that as much as he tried,  he finally realised that he couldn't protect her from anything, not even herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eight years later

_**Eight years later**_  
  
Bonnie sat in her usual seat opposite Dr. Stevens. Eight years later and her office hasn't changed one bit, she still had the same painting of a girl on a swing that she's had since their first session and Bonnie felt comforted by the fact that nothing changed in this office over the years.  
  
Not much has happened in eight years, she still hadn't said a word, but Bonnie slowly started using the journal Dr. Stevens gave her and she was responsive in certain situations, which wasn't much, but Dr. Stevens counted it as a small victory.  
  
They learnt that there were certain things Bonnie was passionate about, her sessions with Dr. Stevens being one of them.  
  
She was eleven years old when she first used that journal. Her dad had to come home early after yet another homeschool teacher quit, "I'm sorry Mr. Hopkins, but I'm not here to teach myself" the last one had said before walking out the door.   
  
That was their fifth teacher to quit in the past two years and Rudy was running out of options. Bonnie was exactly the same, still unresponsive and withdrawn. He carried the weight of his legs up the stairs to her room and found her sitting on her bed reading yet another book.  
  
Bonnie didn't have to look up to know he was mad. Another teacher quit, it wasn't that hard to figure out especially with the familiar banging of the front door as she walked out.   
  
Her bed dipped and her book was pulled away from her lap. "You're killing me here, kid" her Dad said holding her forearm to get her attention and Bonnie turned to face her father. "We're not getting anywhere" he said and she looked through him again, catching a glimpse of the ballet dress her mom got her when she was seven years old. "You're going to be the best dancer anyone has ever known" she'd said after her first dance recital.  
  
"There's a specialist" her dad's voice drew her back. "It's said he's the best in dealing with cases like ours".  
  
Cases like ours. She often forgot that there were other kids like her, 7 in every 1000 kids Dr. Stevens had told her, to show her that she wasn't alone and that even if Bonnie was the only kid like this, she still had her doctor. That was the first time Bonnie had looked her doctor in the eye voluntarily.  
  
Rudy walked out the door soon after he said that. He was preparing dinner when Bonnie's journal was slid onto the counter in front of him and he turned in time to see her walk out the kitchen. When he looked back down at the journal he couldn't believe his eyes.  
  
_No. I'll try harder._  
  
Rudy used to think of himself a strong man, but seeing those words written across the first page of her journal broke him.  
  
He let her continue to see Dr. Stevens after that and true to her word, Bonnie tried harder. It was hard for her to look her father in the eye and respond appropriately that she understood what he was saying since it wasn't second nature to her, and she was constantly fighting the urge to let her mind wander as he spoke...  
  
"You wandered again" Dr. Stevens said watching her carefully and Bonnie snapped her eyes back to her doctor. "Is everything okay?" She asked and Bonnie looked down at the journal on her lap. She never used it for anything, but to talk to her dad and her doctor which wasn't a lot. She'd thrown away the padlock that came with the journal, it seemed pointless to keep it when she didn't write anything in there except a few words once in a while to her dad and doctor to show them that she was still there, and that she understood.  
  
"Your dad told me that you are moving on your seventeenth birthday so that must be exciting" she said and Bonnie's shoulders sagged in response, keeping her eyes on her journal.   
  
Abby always wanted Bonnie to know about her side of the family, it was the one thing she always wanted when she was still alive so her father agreed to let her go stay with her estranged grandmother in Virginia.  
  
Her dad said it would be good for her, but she didn't agree. She knew what was in Virginia, it was one of the many things Abby was blatantly honest with her about and if she went there she feared what that place would do to her.  
  
"I got something for you" Dr. Stevens said and Bonnie looked up at her and raised her journal as if to say 'another one?' Dr. Stevens chuckled, shaking her head. She reached into her drawer and pulled out a box covered in wrapping paper. "I know it's a little early, but your birthday is in less than a week anyway and this is our..." she cut herself off and took a deep shaky breath, "Our last session together, anyway happy birthday, Bonnie". She handed her the box and blinked rapidly, trying to keep her tears at bay.  
  
Dr. Stevens would be lying if she said Bonnie Bennett didn't change her life. After her grandfather died from a mental illness she'd forgotten why she became a Psychiatrist. She wondered what the point was in trying to save people when she couldn't save the one person closest to her.  
  
Then she got a call that a man wanted to see her. He had a daughter who'd witnessed her mother's death and hadn't said a word since, it was textbook reactive mutism, but when she met her she realized there was nothing textbook about her. Not only was she detacted, but it seemed like her mind was in a million places at once.   
  
That felt like a lifetime ago.  
  
Bonnie opened the box and pulled out what looked like a blanket, but it had different pictures on it. Dr. Stevens helped her spread it out across the desk and watched Bonnie examine it carefully.   
  
"My mother's bookclub makes quilts so I asked her to make this for you to remember us by" she said as Bonnie recognise the items on the quilt. She looked up at the painting on the wall that matched the one on her quilt and Dr. Stevens followed her eyes to the wall beside them. "I noticed you liked to look at that picture, this way you'll have it with you".  
  
Bonnie turned to the doctor in front of her, her emerald eyes shining but her tears not quite there. Certain emotions still baffled her, she didn't recognise them and so it was harder for her to understand what she was feeling. She knew this quilt made her feel warm inside so she reached for her discarded journal, opened it to the third page and wrote down two simple words.  
  
_Thank you._  
  
Dr. Steven's dam broke then and tears started flooding down her face. "Y-you're very welcome, Bonnie".  
  
Her birthday was four days later and her dad drove her to the bus station after her birthday lunch. She was leaving the only home she's ever known to go live with a grandmother she didn't know for who knew how long.  
  
"I know you're not happy about this, but it's what your mother wanted" he said as he helped her get her bags out of the trunk.   
  
Her mother wanted a lot of things that weren't in the best interests of her family.  
  
"Sheila will pick you up at the station, okay?" He said when the bus arrived and she nodded once. "Okay, take care of yourself Bonnie bear" he said softly with tears stinging his eyes and Bonnie opened her journal to show him what she'd written down. _Goodbye, dad._ Rudy pulled her in for a hug and all too soon it was time for her to leave.  
  
As Bonnie looked at her dad one last time through the bus window, not knowing when she'd see him again, she hoped he'd take his own advice.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

_"Phasmatos incendia". Bonnie watched as a her mother's hand caught fire. This was the third time her mom showed her this spell and it still baffled her how her hand was left unscorched._

_"Take the flame, Bonnie" he mother said encouragingly and Bonnie slowly lifted her hand. "Remember, concentrate"._

_Bonnie closed her eyes and did as she was told. She felt Abby touch her hand and close her burning hand over Bonnie's. She let go and watched the flame burn on Bonnie's hand._

_Bonnie opened her eyes and smiled down at what she'd done before beaming up at her mother. Abby had called it a transference spell and it took a lot of concentration to get it right so she was proud that Bonnie got it her first try because it proved what she already knew was true._

_"You are very important, Bonnie"._

Bonnie jerked awake when the bus came to a stop. "Attention Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mystic Falls, Virgina. This is our final destination so please ensure that you have taken all of your belongings before you deboard the bus. We appreciate you traveling with us and we hope to have the pleasure of traveling with you again soon".

Bonnie got up from her seat and grabbed her backpack from the overhead compartment before making her way off the bus.

She made her way into the bus station after getting her suitcases and was already feeling overwhelmed by the number of people there were . Without her dad there to keep her focused she was fully aware of everything and it all made her uneasy.

She didn't know who she was supposed to be looking for and she wanted to go back home where she could see Dr. Stevens and feel safe and-

"Bonnie?" She heard a voice say behind her. Bonnie turned around and came face to face with an elderly looking lady that seemed to look familiar. "Bonnie Bennett, as I live and breathe" Sheila said while tears stung her eyes. She knew she was meeting her granddaughter today, Rudy set it all up. She was so surprised to get a phone call from him about a year ago and told her what Abby wanted. After her daughter passed away, Sheila lost all hope of ever meeting Bonnie because she didn't exactly get along with her father, so she stayed away and he kept her away.

Sheila pulled the young girl in for a bone crushing hug which she barely returned. "Let me look at you" Sheila said when she pulled back and examined her granddaughter. "You're the spitting image of your mother".

Bonnie tried to keep her eyes focused on the woman that was fussing over her, hoping it would drown out the noise coming from all these people around them. It didn't help much, but it managed to calm her down a little. "Let's get you home", and she didn't have to be told twice.

_"Bonnie isn't like other kids" Rudy said over the phone and Sheila scoffed, ofcourse she wasn't like other kids. "She doesn't speak" that next statement got her attention. "What do you mean she doesn't speak?"_

_"The doctors are calling it Reactive Mutism, from her mother's death". Sheila knew her daughter was dead, but no one would tell her the details of that day and for the first time in a while she wondered what could've been so bad as to make Bonnie shut down like that._

_"Take care of my baby, Sheila"._

Sheila stole a glance at her estranged granddaughter and her heart broke for the young girl. She was so withdrawn and Sheila noticed the panic stricken look on her face when she picked her up. The girl looked about ready to jump out of her own skin when she heard her name.

"Welcome to Mystic Falls, baby" Sheila said and watched Bonnie relunctantly pull her gaze from the car window.

Bonnie gave her a weak smile, it's something she's practiced with her dad to show that she was paying attention. Ever since she got here the most comfortable she's been was when she was staring out the window watching the cars pass by and got a sense of deja vu from when she was nine years old and her dad told her that she would start seeing a shrink.

Mystic Falls was a really small town, which probably meant everybody knew each other and that thought alone made Bonnie feel more uncomfortable and out of place. It was so different from New York and she realised it would be harder for her to slip under the radar.

"Our family has lived here for centuries.We fled Salem in 1692 and we've lived in secrecy for over a hundred years". The secret of what they were.

Abby told her the history of their family when she first got her magic when she was six years old. They used to practice every day after school, "It'll be our little secret, Bonnie Bear" she told her. Her dad didn't know about them and over the years Bonnie made sure he never did. In all honesty after Abby died she wanted nothing to do with witchcraft, not after what it did to her mother.

She didn't want to hear this again so she turned back to the window. Sheila must've gotten the message because they were drenched in silence moments later.

It was late afternoon when they got home and Sheila showed her to her new bedroom. It was a nice house, Bonnie noted, very cozy and with lots of pictures of her mother in the living room. Looking at the pictures, Bonnie got what Sheila meant by spitting image. They really did look alike.

Bonnie kept looking at the pictures, they all seemed to tell a story about Abby's life before her and her dad came into the picture. She seemed alot happier in those pictures and Bonnie couldn't help but wonder if they were the problem.

A picture of Sheila holding a baby at what looked like a nursery caught her attention. "This was taken when you first came home from the hospital" Sheila said from the door as she noticed the picture Bonnie was looking at. "You and your momma lived with me for a few weeks before you moved back to New York to be with your daddy".

Bonnie watched Sheila grab the picture from the mantle with tears in her eyes. "There are probably about fifty pictures in this place, all with it's own story, but this one...holding you in my arms for the first time...". Bonnie watched the tears spill over her grandmother's eyes.

This was the most she's stayed focused around her grandmother since they met and she wanted to ask why she'd put herself through something which had a simple solution. Sheila watched her pull out a brown leather journal from her back pocket and saw her write something inside before turning the book around to show her what she wrote.

_Why didn't you just come and visit?_

Sheila read the words and looked up to see the curious look in Bonnie's eyes. There was no anger or resentment there, just pure curiosity and Sheila wondered why that was.

"It's complicated, baby" was all Sheila could think to say. Bonnie accepted that, not wanting to push the issue. She wasn't sure how she would handle her emotions if she broke down more than she already had.

"You're here now and that's all that matters" Sheila said with a teary smile while playing with Bonnie's curls and the young girl mirrored her smile, hoping it would make her stop crying.

Bonnie layed on her new bed hours later, looking up at the white ceiling wondering what she was doing here. Her grandmother was nice enough and she liked the sound of her voice, but she didn't belong here. She wasn't sure she really belonged anywhere.


	4. Chapter 4

Bonnie shivered from the cold before opening her eyes and was immediately filled with panic when she saw where she was. The crashing waterfall hard to miss.

She quickly crawled away from the edge of the cliff she was sleeping on a second ago and got to her feet, wrapping her arms around her self to try get warm. She watched the water crash down on the rocks below as she wondered how she got there and how she was going to get back to Sheila's house.

She isn't sure how long she walked for before she saw what looked like a restaurant. _The Mystic Grill._ The sign read and she walked in, hoping someone would tell her how to get to her grandmother's house. "Welcome to The Mystic Grill, what ca...wow, rough morning?" A guy around her age asked as she walked in. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and a friendly smile which turned to confusion when she just looked at him and didn't say a word. "Hey, are you okay?"

Bonnie searched herself before remembering that she was in her pajamas  and didn't have her journal with her. She looked around the fairly empty restaurant and wondered how early it was. "Did you want to order breakfast?" The boy's voice brought her attention back to what he was saying. She made a writing gesture on her palm and it took him a second to realise that she wanted to write something down. He pulled his notepad from his apron pocket and handed it to her.

_Sheila Bennett's house?_ She wrote and handed it to him. "Oh, you're looking for grams' place. What happened did you get lost?"

Bonnie nodded once and hoped he would leave it at that.

"You family?" He asked and she nodded again. "Okay, um...." he quickly scanned the room before turning back to her. "My shift ends in like fifteen minutes before I have to head to school so if you don't mind waiting I could take you there".

Bonnie gave a weak smile in gratitude. "You don't talk much do you?" He asked and she just looked at him, not sure what he wanted from her because the fact that she hadn't said a word made it pretty obvious. "Alright. Right this way" he said feeling a little embarrassed by his last comment. "I'm Matt, by the way, Matt Donovan" he said extending his hand for her to shake as she took a seat by the bar and looked around the grill again. It was small and there were only two people she could see having breakfast, but judging by their plates they were almost done and were probably getting ready to head out to start their day.

"Ohkay" Matt said, awkwardly retracting his hand when she didn't take it. She wasn't even looking at him and Matt followed her eyes to where she was looking at Mayor Lockwood and his wife finishing up their breakfast. "Oh, I'll be back. Just stay here" he said and headed to their table.

Bonnie knew coming to this town was a bad idea. She's only been here for less than a day and she was already waking up on the ledge of a waterfall.

_"Mystic Falls, born and raised. My momma still lives there" Abby said platting her daughter's hair while Bonnie looked at the picture her mom placed in her hands of the town she grew up in. "It's a beacon for the supernatural, from vampires, to werewolves, hybrids and basically any other supernatural you can think of and our family has devoted itself to protecting the town from anyone who tries to harm it and it's people"._

_Bonnie examined the picture and wondered what it was about this town that drew every monster that went bump in the night._

_"One day, Bonnie, when you are stronger and have learnt everything you need to about our craft, I will take you there so you can learn more about our family and what you are"._

"Hey, hey are you okay?" A voice pulled her from the memory and she looked up to see Matt giving her a strange look before he looked down at her hands. Bonnie followed his gaze and noticed that she had torn the napkin in her hands to shreds. 'Anger', it was the first emotion Dr. Stevens had made her face and that's what she felt right now, but she wasn't sure who she was angry at: Her mother, for breaking one of her many promises, or herself for believing her.

"My shift is done so we can leave whenever you're ready" he said when she just looked at her hands. He's been calling her for about five minutes and she didn't respond until he touched her shoulder.

Bonnie got up from her seat picked up the pieces of napkin in her hand and headed for the exit.

Matt got her home in no time and insisted on walking her to her door, Southern hospitality and all that. When they got to the door Bonnie wasn't sure if she should just walk in so she knocked.

The door opened almost immediately to reveal a worried looking Sheila Bennett. "Oh dear Lord, Bonnie Bennett, where have you been?" She said as she enveloped her granddaughter in a hug and Bonnie was relieved to see a familiar face.

"She wandered into the grill earlier looking a little lost" Matt said as they pulled away from their hug. "I wanted to make sure she was safe so I offered to drive her here".

"Thank you so much, baby" Sheila said squeezing Matt's hand in gratitude. "My granddaughter is still new to town and I'm not sure what I'd do if anything ever happened to her".

"It's a good thing she walked into the grill then".


	5. Chapter 5

It happened again.

It was the fourth time Bonnie's stood on that cliff overlooking the waterfall, wondering what was going on with her because this was the very definition of insanity.

She was thinking about the long walk home that she'd forced herself to memorize after the second time this happened when she finally noticed something that wasn't there the last three times.

Living in Mystic Falls, Bonnie knew that going towards the unknown was probably not a good idea, but after four times of waking up here, she needed answers.

"These are the good moments...the simple ones, the ones that matter. These are the moments that keep me from falling apart". She saw him laying on a blanket, talking to someone that wasn't there.

"Who are you?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and he turned to her, noticing her for the first time. He looked so at peace, but somehow Bonnie knew he was anything but.

"Stefan Salvatore, who are you?" He asked curiously and she was about to answer when he started coughing up water.

Bonnie jerked awake, gasping for air and scrambled to her feet to get as far away from that cliff as she could.

Sheila was making her way down the stairs hoping Bonnie was down there since she wasn't in her room, again. This was getting ridiculous and even though she could tell Bonnie was opposed to magic she knew it would be their only way of finding out what was happening to her.

She was on the last step when the door burst open and Bonnie came rushing into the house. She looked at Sheila for a split second before frantically looking for something to write on.

The scene was replaying itself in her head like a recording as Sheila caught on and retrieved a piece of paper and pen for her to write with.

"What's going on, Bonnie? Where do you keep disappearing to?" Sheila asked while Bonnie scribbled on the piece of paper. She was halfway done when Sheila recognised the place in the drawing. "The Quarry...Bonnie, is that where you were?"

Bonnie turned to Sheila before looking back down at the drawing and nodded. The tape in her head was still playing and she couldn't get it to stop.

"Bonnie" Sheila all but yelled as she grabbed a hold of her grabddaughter's shoulders in order to keep her focused. "Bonnie, what were you doing at the quarry?"

_Who are you?_

Bonnie turned back to the page in front of her before scribbling something down. She handed the piece of paper to Sheila for her to see what she wrote.

"Stefan Salvatore".

_Telepathy is the purported transmission of information from one person to another without using any known human sensory channels or physical interaction. The term was coined in 1882 by the classical scholar Frederic W. H. Myers, a founder of the Society for Psychical Research, and has remained more popular than the earlier expression thought-transference._

_Telepathy experiments have historically been criticized for lack of proper controls and repeatability. There is no convincing evidence that telepathy exists, and the topic is generally considered by the scientific community to be pseudoscience._

_No convincing evidence._

Bonnie traced over the words, committing them to memory. It wasn't possible, even with the existence of supernatural creatures, there was no record in history of witches being telepaths and no convincing evidence to prove otherwise.

So what happened out there?

"Bonnie" Sheila knocked once before peeking her head through the door. Her grandmother had given her some space after the incident earlier that morning, trying to wrap her head around what was happening to Bonnie when she thought to do something she'd probably regret later.

"Will you come downstairs please?" She asked and Bonnie nodded once before grabbing her journal and heading out the door, following after Sheila.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs she saw two people standing by the  door with her grandmother. The girl had tan skin, long brown hair with eyes that matched while the man had raven black hair with blue eyes. Bonnie wouldn't have known it, but his jawline gave him away.

They were brothers.

"Bonnie, this is Elena Gilbert and Damon Salvatore" Sheila introduced, voicing what she already knew. She also knew that these two were vampires, their lack of breathing giving them away, and clearly Sheila wasn't fully comfortable with having them here because they weren't invited in.

"Hey there, BonBon" the man, Damon, said and she made a face she hoped would translate to one of disapproval. "Sheila here says you've been fanticizing about my brother, which I personally don't understand seeing as I'm the more attractive brother".

"You're getting off track, Damon" Elena said, her elbow digging into his ribcage and he barely flinched. "Hey Bonnie, what Damon is so badly trying to say is that we're here to help", she gave her a sweet smile which Bonnie didn't return as she watched the two of them.

"Bonnie doesn't speak" Sheila said, trying to fill the silence. "But she did draw this, and wrote your brother's name at the bottom" she continued, handing them the piece of paper Bonnie scribbled on earlier.

"What does this have to do with my brother?" Damon asked, examining the piece of paper before passing it off to Elena.

"I think Stefan may be in trouble" Sheila started, "and whatever Bonnie saw out there, it involves him".

"Yeah well I don't know what you think you saw, but Stefan's fine" Damon said, looking at the young girl and that same feeling of dread she'd felt that morning consumed her, and her mind was replaying that scene again, like a movie that kept repeating itself. One coherent thought screaming in her mind: He was not fine.

Bonnie didn't think as she scribbled the next words in her journal.

_Take me to him._


	6. Chapter 6

"There he is, satisfied?" Damon asked in exasperation as he pointed at the man sitting by the bar.

He didn't know why he let this crazy witch pull him into her insanity when he already knew the truth. Stefan was fine, and now she knew it too.

Damon was already heading for the exit when Elena nudged him and they watched Bonnie walk towards Stefan. She was having an internal war between her instincts and her common sense and wanted to know which would win so before she could talk herself out of it she was already reaching for his shoulder.

_Hello my shadow self._

"Can I help you?" She pulled her hand back at the sound of his voice and gave him a blank expression as she tried to figure out what she just saw. "Excuse me, who are you?"

"This is Sheila's granddaughter, BonBon, who we are keeping on a very tight leash from now on" Damon said out of nowhere as he pulled Bonnie away from Stefan by her arms. She stumbled a bit until Elena steadied her, Bonnie's eyes never leaving the man in front of her. His eyes were the final nail in the coffin, they were cold and empty. Sure he kept up a good act, but they gave him away and yet no one else noticed it.

"She's new to town" Elena said and Bonnie wondered if that was Elena's  way of justifying her actions.

"Oh, welcome to Mystic Falls. Stefan Salvatore" The man introduced, extending his hand towards her and she just looked at it before her focus was drawn to the packed restaurant. The late afternoon buzz making her uncomfortable.

It looked so different from the morning she walked in here. There were young people she assumed were students at the local high school everywhere. The same high school Sheila told her she would be attending the following week. She spotted the same boy that helped her the other day, his name escaping her and the last thing she wanted was for him to recognize her so she quickly made her way to the exit without sparing a second glance at the vampires in front of her.

_Hello my shadow self._

Bonnie sat on her bed looking at the feathers she'd cut out from her pillow a few hours ago. When she got home it was the first thing she got an urge to do, it was instinct.

Her head was messing with her again and she feared she might be losing control of her own mind. There was a lot Bonnie couldn't control, but she could control her mind and the thought that she might be losing the one thing she could control shot fear down her spine.

"Bonnie". Her head shot up at the sound of Sheila's voice coming from the doorway and she frantically shot out of bed, collecting the feathers from her bed and tossing them in her laundry hamper. She seemed so frightened that Sheila had to grab her hands to stop her movements.

"It's okay, baby. It's alright" she said soothingly and Bonnie stilled her hands, but kept her eyes on the bed where a few feathers remained. "What were you trying to do?"

Bonnie turned her head to look at Sheila, the book in her hand catching her attention and Sheila noticed, "I was hoping it would have some answers" Sheila said softly and Bonnie looked up at her in what she hoped reflected gratitude.

Living with Sheila has been the most she's  been around magic since her mother died,  she felt it throughout the house whenever Sheila practiced. Sheila never asked her to join her though or pressured her into anything she was uncomfortable with and Bonnie appreciated that she respected her choice. Looking at the grimoire now, Bonnie wondered if it really did contain the answers she needed.

She reached for her journal before she could talk herself out of it and scribbed on it  before turning it to Sheila.

_Read my mind._

Sheila furrowed her brows before turning to Bonnie. "Are you sure, baby?"

Bonnie nodded once and Sheila looked at her for a moment to see any doubt and fear in her eyes, but all she saw was the seriousness in her eyes. She really wanted to do this, if not for anything else, but for her own sanity.

That's how they ended up in Sheila's living room surrounded by candles while Bonnie laid on the floor. "Okay, you might feel a slight discomfort from the pressure this spell will put on your brain" Sheila explained and Bonnie nodded in understanding before closing her eyes.

A minute passed before Sheila could see anything, until...

_"Who are you?"_

_"Stefan Salvatore, who are you?"_

Sheila started seeing everything Bonnie had, hearing the sound of her grabddaughter's voice throwing her off a bit. She could see the quarry and Stefan laying on a blanket before the memory cut to somewhere else.

_"Here's where the mystery of me comes full circle. I created the immortality spell two thousand years ago. I can never die, so Nature needed to find a balance - a version of me that could die. A shadow-self - a doppelgänger"._

_"So, this is finally your real face? You're another one of them?"_

Sheila stood to the side, looking at the familiar face of Elena Gilbert, and wondered how they could have missed it. After months of trying to stop Silas and get the cure only to lose her own in the end, but she was wrong...

_"Not exactly" ._

_Silas' face changed then and he plastered a smile that was all too familiar. "Hello, my shadow-self" he said before pushing Stefan into the safe that was meant for him, his hand firmly thrust into Stefan's stomach. "Do you have any idea what it's like to starve for two thousand years?"_

Everything happened so fast after that, but one thing was clear. Stefan was in a lot more trouble than they thought.

Sheila was about to pull out of Bonnie's mind when she found herself in another one of Bonnie's memories.

_"Close your eyes, baby, and you won't feel a thing"  Abby whispered as she knelt down in front of her daughter and Bonnie knew that no amount of darkness in the world would ever stop the feeling of the steel knife in her tiny hand._

_"I love you, baby". Abby kissed her forehead before making Bonnie drive the knife into her heart as she chanted the spell._

Bonnie's eyes flew open at the memory she'd repressed for the past eight years and for the first time in what felt like an eternity she felt tears sting her eyes.

Hatred, she recognised the emotion instantly and it was all she felt.


	7. Chapter 7

"Stefan's in the quarry" Sheila spoke into the phone only to groan moments later. "Damn it, Damon, just go look. If I'm wrong you can go back to trying to hook up with your brother's girlfriend". Sheila hung up soon after before turning to look at her granddaughter. She looked so small all of a sudden and her eyes were fixed on the floor.  
  
Sheila was still trying to wrap her head around what she saw, around what Abby made her nine year old daughter do. She rubbed her eyes in exhaustion, the spell really took a lot out of her, which was a testament to how old she was getting and she didn't know for how much longer she could do this.  
  
She turned back to Bonnie and watched her scratch her left wrist as she kept her eyes on the floor and Sheila worried that if she kept that up then she'd end up hurting herself. "Bonnie, you need to stop, baby or you gonna hurt yourself" she said and went to stop her movements, but Bonnie flinched away from her touch. She got up from the floor and, without looking at Sheila, left the room.  
  
_"I wish I could be selfish with you...my baby girl" Abby said brushing Her daughter's curls with her fingers. She's not sure how long they've been laying on Bonnie's bed doing nothing at all, but it was almost time so she'd cherish the moments they had left together._  
  
_"Your destiny is beyond anything that I could every control and I wish I could be a part of it" Bonnie looked up from her mom's chest where she'd laid her head listening to her heartbeat._  
  
_"What do you mean, mama?"_  
  
_"One day you'll understand. You have to be strong enough to face what's coming"._  
  
  
Today was her first day of school and Dr.Stevens always told her to set goals to do something normal even if she didn't want to. Bonnie decided this would be it so she woke up early and got ready for school.  
  
Sheila told her she didn't have to go when Bonnie came down for breakfast, but Bonnie wondered what her life would be like if all she did was hide so when she was done with breakfast she wrote down two simple words.  
  
_I do_.  
  
So she went to school.  
  
"We all love Sheila here and when she told us about your situation, we were happy to help" The Principal said as Bonnie took her seat. She wasn't sure how she felt about her mutism and overall social awkwardness being referred to as a situation, but then again she probably wouldn't want her to be blunt about it either.  
  
"So I already briefed all your teachers, and they agreed to let you use your journal to commincate and you'll be graded on tests and exams only" she added and Bonnie smiled in gratitude.  
  
The Principal talked some more before insisting on walking her to her first class. She talked with her teacher for a bit before she turned to the class and placed her hands on Bonnie's shoulders basically drawing even more attention to her than she wanted. "This is Bonnie Bennett, Sheila's granddaughter. She just moved here all the way from New York and I want you all to make her feel welcome" she said and showed her to her seat because broadcasting her to the entire class wasn't enough.  
  
"You're lucky this is only the second week of school, Miss Bennett, but I'm gonna need you to catch up anyway. I don't care how you do it, you can mug someone for their notes for all I care" The teacher, Mr. Tanner, it said on the board, spoke before he continued with his lesson.  
  
"Once our home state of Virginia joined confederacy in 1861, it created a tremendous amount of tension within the state. People in Virginia's northwest region had different ideals than those from the traditional deep south. Then Virginia divided in 1863 with the northwest region joining the union..."  
  
_"Close your eyes, baby"_ . She could still see her mom's face clearly as she placed the steel knife in her hands.  
  
"Bonnie" she snapped out of it when she heard her name. The lesson was over and everyone was heading out of the class. Bonnie looked up and saw a blonde vampire standing in front of her with the guy that helped her. "Hey Bonnie, I don't know if you remember me, I'm Matt, I helped you out the other day" he said and Bonnie nodded in recognition.  
  
"This is my friend Caroline" he said and Caroline extended an enthusiastic hand towards Bonnie which she just looked at until Caroline awkwardly withdrew it. "Don't take it personally" Matt mumbled to Caroline before turning back to Bonnie.  
  
"Elena told us what you did for Stefan, thank you" Caroline spoke up and Bonnie had to keep herself from flinching. Stefan Salvatore, if she ever heard that name again it would be too soon. Ever since she got to this town she's been consumed by him and she technically hasn't even met him yet except for in her head and in order to make it stop she opened up a can of worms she could never close.  
  
Bonnie gathered up her things and walked to her next class without sparing them another look.  
  
_"I love you, baby"._  
  
The day went by in a haze and Bonnie managed to avoid Matt and the vampire for the rest of the day. School wasn't that bad, the teachers left her alone for the most part and everything was pretty normal until Bonnie found herself sitting on her bed with the feathers from her pillow.  
  
_Bonnie's eyes sparkled with joy as she watched the feathers float in front of her._  
  
_"You're doing it, baby" ._  
  
It was the first spell Abby ever showed her after she got her magic. She was seven years old when it happened. She started seeing numbers in her head she couldn't explain and they kept repeating themselves over and over until she wrote them down.  
  
The next morning Abby told her that last night an accident was reported in the news, a car accident on route 66 at one in the morning. _1 12 66_. The numbers matched the ones in her head and she felt like she was going to throw up.  
  
They spent the day with Abby explaining their entire history to her and telling her what she was.  
  
  
Bonnie looked at the feathers in front of her now.  
  
For the longest time she thought she'd probably lost her powers over the years from how she completely shut down and now for this to be happening all over again, she didn't know what to do.  
  
The doorbell snapped her out of her thoughts. He grams hadn't come back yet so she had to go and open the door. She grabbed her journal just in case and went to open the front door, not expecting the person standing on the other side.  
  
"Hi".  



	8. Chapter 8

His eyes seemed warmer than she remembered, but they held something she couldn't recognise or maybe she did recognise it, but couldn't name what is was. It didn't really matter anyway because she wanted him to leave.

"Uhm, I'm sorry to bother you" Stefan said nervously. He wasn't sure what he wanted from her, all he knew was that when Caroline went over to the boarding house and told them that she was at school he wanted to go see her for himself, maybe to make sure that she was real and not a figment of his imagination.

When Damon pulled him out of that safe he told him about Silas. He'd been pretending to be him for three months and not only did they not figure out that Silas was an imposter, but someone else did. Someone none of them even knew and as much as he didn't want to he couldn't help but feel resentment towards the two people who were supposed to love him the most.

"I uh wanted to thank you for what you did, being in that safe I-" he stopped abruptly and Bonnie knew what he was going to say. She'd seen it for herself after all.

_He felt like he was losing his mind._

Because that's what going through a traumatic experience did to you.

_You're won't feel anything._

She hated how her mom's voice kept filling her mind, reminding her that she couldn't escape her and as she watched Stefan with the distant look in his eyes she wondered if he'd ever escape what happened to him.

Stefan watched her open the journal in her hands and scribble something down before turning the book to him.

_Don't thank me, just please leave me alone._

She closed the door in his face and slid down against it.

_Silas walked through the warehouse until he found the wooden coffin he's been looking for. It was almost time to reunite with his soulmate._

_So much has happened in two thousand years. He'd let Qetsiyah fill his head with lies before she trapped him and tortured the love of his life, but he knew better now._

_Now, it was time to bring Amara back so that they could be together and he didn't care if he had to burn the whole world to do it._

_He traced his hands over the coffin and broke the sealing spell cast on it before opening it to see her beautiful face, still exactly as he remembered it._

_"Amara"._

"The Battle of Willow Creek took place right at the end of the war in our very own Mystic Falls. How many casualties resulted in this battle?" Mr. Tanner asked already looking for his next victim and Stefan swore he found a twisted enjoyment for torturing his students.

Being at school was more of a coping mechanism for him than anything and when he'd announced that he was going back to school Elena insisted on going with him. She kept doing that, watching him as if he'd disappear and he knew she felt guilty for not knowing. He was her boyfriend and she should've known, but she didn't and now all that was left of Stefan's feelings for her were resentment.

The Elena he'd hallucinated in his head while he was drowning was so different from this one or maybe that's how he's always seen her, the same way he did in his hallucinations and now he was finally seeing her clearly.

"Miss Bennett?" Mr. Tanner's voice drew him from his thoughts and he looked at the girl in question, she was sitting a few rows in front of him scribbling something in her journal and completely oblivious to the fact that Mr. Tanner called her name.

Stefan watched the teacher approach her desk and pull her journal from under her. Bonnie looked up at him with a look Stefan recognised as anxious before she focused on her desk again.

"Maybe you should stop writing about Amara, Miss Bennett and pay attention to the lesson. After all, the first test is in a few days" Tanner said, but Bonnie kept her face down.

"There were 346 casualties. Unless you're counting local civilians" Stefan said, barely restraining himself from growling at the asshole of a teacher they were stuck with.

"That's correct Mr. Salvatore. Except, of course, there were no civilian casualties in this battle" he responded as he tossed Bonnie's journal back on her desk.

"Actually, there were 27, sir. Confederate soldiers, they fired on the church, believing it to be housing weapons. They were wrong. It was a night of great loss. The founder's archives are, uh, stored in civil hall if you'd like to brush up on your facts, Mr. Tanner" Stefan said, taking the small victory when he saw the look on their history teacher's face.

He was about to go check on Bonnie after class when Damon called him. "What is it?"

"Silas is back" Damon responded on the other end and Stefan stiffened, when Damon told him Silas was gone it was the only thing keeping him together, but now he was back and he was starting to realise that there might be no escaping him.

"And he was more than happy to share his diabolical plan".

"What does he want?"

"He said something about waking up his dead girlfriend, Amara, and he wants us to stay out of his way" That caught the younger Salvatore's attention.

"Did you say Amara?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Bonnie was scrubbling the name 'Amara' in class today".

"The witch strikes again".

"Keep her out of this, Damon" Stefan said seriously, hoping that for once Damon would listen to him.

"Whatever you say, Brother" Damon said before the line went dead and Stefan groaned, hating his lapse in judgment by letting that slip.


	9. Chapter 9

Bonnie was starting to think that Stefan Salvatore was a trigger and she was slowly starting to hate him for it.

She hasn't slept, all she kept seeing were images of Silas with a coffin that had a girl who looked like Elena Gilbert and she wasn't sure what to do with that information so when she gave up on trying to sleep she did the only thing she thought to, she read.

She wasn't sure why she'd brought that book with her, maybe because she knew where she was going or maybe because, subconsciously, she wanted a piece of her mother with her. Whatever the reason, she decided that the grimoire would be useful now.

Everything Abby had ever seen, she wrote down and it wasn't hard for Bonnie to find what she was looking for.

_Qetsiyah created the immortality spell  two thousand years ago. She created an elixir she would drink with her fiancee on their wedding night, but he betrayed her and drank it with her handmaiden instead._

_In retaliation, Qetsiyah kidnapped Amara and used her eternal and indestructible body to bind the spell that created the Other Side._

_Deceived into believing that Amara was dead, Silas was later imprisoned deep within a remote cave, along with the cure to his immortality._

_Amara became the doorway, the anchor, to the other side and the day Silas brings her back that doorway will be opened for every Supernatural creature that ever lived to come back, good and evil alike and I fear for the world if he isn't stopped._

"Bonnie, why are you up at two in the morning?" Sheila asked from the door. She looked like she'd just woken up, and probably gone to the bathroom.

Bonnie responded by lifting her mother's grimoire for Sheila to see and the woman in question furrowed her brow in confusion before walking further into the room.

Bonnie pointed at the page she was reading as Sheila sat down and read it for herself.

"Abby knew about Silas" she said quietly once she was done reading. Sheila knew her daughter was a seer before she even got her magic. She always told her stories about things Sheila didn't understand until one of them actually came true and Sheila knew that her daughter wasn't a regular witch. She could see things no one else could and she could plan for them.

Looking at Bonnie now, the realization of what Abby did hit her like a ton of bricks and she found it hard to breathe. Bonnie was her plan.

Sheila could still hear the spell Abby was chanting as she died in her head, it was a transference spell to give Bonnie all of her powers because she wanted her to do the one thing she couldn't, kill Silas.

Bonnie saw the look of dread in Sheila's eyes and rubbed her back, hoping to calm her down.

Years of trying to supress that memory and she remembered it clearly now.

_It's okay, Sheila_

She wrote down in her journal and Sheila finally looked up at her. "You knew" she whispered and Bonnie only shrugged. Ofcourse she knew, the memories were there and all she needed to know was why, which she did now.

"You don't have to do this, Bonnie" Sheila cried desperately, clutching her granddaughter's arm. "It's not your responsibility".

_She made it my responsibility. I'm her weapon._

That's why she found herself standing at the door of the Salvatore Boarding House after school that day.

The door opened before she could knock and revealed Damon Salvatore. "You saved me the trouble of coming to get you, Bonbon, thanks", that being the first thing he said to her before letting her in.

"My baby brother told me about your little artwork in class today, about Amara" he continued as they walked into the parlour and Bonnie rolled her eyes, ofcourse he did, that kid was slowly becoming the bane of her existence and if he wasn't already dead, she'd kill him.

"Drink?" Bonnie shook her head at the offer and pulled out her mother's grimoire, opening it to the page she'd previously been reading and passed it to Damon.

As he read, she took in the room they were in. It was huge, but then again the whole house looked big from the outside and it had a vintage feel to it.

What caught her eye though was the huge safe that laid in front of the fireplace.

"Stefan's trying to conquer his new found fear of water and small spaces" Bonnie heard Damon say behind her and when she turned to look at him she could see the regret in his eyes even as he tried to hide it.

That was another emotion she could recognise since she's had a lot of practice from seeing it on her dad for the past eight years.

"I personally don't understand why he would torture himself like this, as if the nightmares aren't enough" He mumbled that last part, but Bonnie still heard it.

She knew why he would keep it, to remind himself that what happened to him was real and not a figment of his imagination and also as motivation to kill Silas, probably.

"How did you know all this?" Damon asked, putting the book on the coffee table.

_My mother was a seer._

"So why wouldn't she just kill him herself?"

_She wasn't strong enough, so she came up with a plan- she had me._

Damon was about to comment on that when the door opened and the scooby gang came into the house. Bonnie recognized most of them except for one person she hadn't met yet.

"Damon, what did I say?!" Stefan growled in anger when he saw Bonnie standing in the middle of the parlour.

"Relax, brother. Witchy here came of her own free will" he smirked and Stefan turned to Bonnie to catch any lie there, but didn't. "Now that Stefan's gotten over his hissy fit, scooby gang, meet Bonnie Bennett" he said and slung his arm around her shoulders only to have her push it off.

"Bonbon, I'm sure you recognise these faces seeing as they've been harrassing you in some form or another for the past two weeks you've been here".

"I've never met her" Jeremy said.

"That's because everyone tries to ignore your existence, baby Gilbert".

"That's not my name" Jeremy snapped at the vampire and Bonnie noticed how uncomfortable he looked, like being here was against his very nature. "I'm Jeremy" he said looking at her, "Nice to meet you, Bonnie" his voice softened as he spoke to her and she only gave him a small smile in response.

"What are you doing here, Bonnie?" Stefan asked, his curiosity getting the better of him seeing as the last time he spoke to her she asked him to leave her alone.

"Bonbon is here to lend a hand with our Silas problem" Damon answered for her before filling them in on what they were previously talking about.

"So what's the plan here?" Elena asked once Damon was done. She was sitting next to Stefan and seeing them together made her think of Silas and Amara, only Stefan didn't look at Elena the same way Silas looked at Amara as she layed in her coffin.

"Witchy here is going to use her witchy juju to help us stop him". That statement caught her attention and she shook her head before scribbling something down again.

_I haven't used my magic in eight years, since my mom died._

"What about your visions?" Caroline asked, speaking up for the first time.

_I can't control them, but so far, Stefan's been the only one to trigger them._

Everyone turned to him as he looked at Bonnie. "Why Stefan?" Elena asked a little apprehensive.

"Well he is Silas' doppelganger so maybe they're connected and Bonnie's mother had a vision about him before she was even born" Caroline responded, taking a shot in the dark and Bonnie nodded.

_Before my mother died she did a transference spell and gave me her powers._

Something about this story didn't sit right with Stefan, maybe it was because of Bonnie's  lack of emotion as she wrote it down or maybe she wasn't telling them everything.

"Okay well if Stefan's her trigger, then maybe they should spend some time together, see if anything happens" Jeremy suggested and everyone nodded in agreement, everyone except for Elena, who wasn't too happy about this, and Bonnie, who didn't want to spend more time than what was necessary with Stefan.


	10. Chapter 10

_She could see the anguish in her father's eyes as he scrubbed away the blood in the sink._

_Her mother's blood had long dried on her skin by the time her dad came back from work and found them in the living room, and even longer after the ambulance came and went with her mother's body, and she was sure the blood had become a part of her skin now._

_So her father scrubbed it off in the sink as Bonnie kept seeing the image of her mother's lifeless body. The rug was still covered in her blood, by so much of it that it left an outline of her form and they'll probably have to change it._

_"She's dead" was all Bonnie thought to say,  her brain wanting her to say the words outloud so that she could hear them for herself instead of playing them in her head over and over again and her dad looked at her for the first time since he'd first found her with her mother in her arms._

_She'd never forget that look._

Her eyes snapped open and she was in her room, eight years later.

The memories were getting worse.

The feathers in her hamper have been tempting her for two weeks, trying to get her to see if she could still practice and at this point she was curious herself.

Plus, Damon wasn't a very patient man since two weeks of "spending time with Stefan" didn't work.

Until it did today.

_Bonnie ate her lunch as she listened to Stefan drone on about life in the eighteen hundreds. They've never really had anything to talk about during their lunch sessions together so Stefan would take it upon himself to tell her everything about his past until she'd walk away from him because she was done with listening to him throw himself a pity party about being the ripper._

_Bonnie believed he had a lot more self-control than he gave himself credit for. If he didn't this town would be a blood bath after spending three months in that safe._

_What pissed her off about Stefan, except the fact that he brought to the surface some issues she's repressed for eight years, was his need for an emotional tether, someone to hold onto in order for him to stay sane._

_For the longest time that was Elena, and without her Stefan was having a hard time keeping his emotions in check, even though she believed he was more than able to do so if he just put some effort in._

_Growing up in a shrink's office Bonnie has been able to recognise the five stages of grief Stefan was going through; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance._

_While Stefan kept going back to denial, anger was what consumed Bonnie everytime she had a memory of her mother, but one thing was certain,they both sucked at acceptance._

_Bonnie was even getting angry right now because why would he tell her about a time the color of her skin would've made her the property of someone like him._

_She didn't want to hear it, and she especially didn't want to hear about her ancestor, Emily being a "handmaiden" so she put her hand on his arm, intending to shut him up, when she felt it._

_It vibrated through her and she swore her mother's blood was still on her hands. The cold that came after filled her entire body and she knew what it was. It was death._

She walked across the room to her hamper, her curiousity getting the best of her and grabbed a handful of feathers.

When she turned around again she wasn't surprised to see the familiar outline of a person behind her curtains, the light from the moon making him more prominent. That's another thing that's been happening for the past two weeks, everytime another memory woke her up, there he was.

She knew that he wasn't sleeping. The nightmares keeping him up all night and it gave her a weird sense of comfort to know that she wasn't alone, even though she found it a little creepy that his chosen destination was always the tree outside her bedroom window, but she never brought it up.

She looked down at the feathers in her hand wondering if she was really going to do this. Eight years was a long time and the nerves were getting to her. She was starting to overthink this, the fear of opening yet another can of worms making her reconsider her decision even though the damage was done the moment she met Stefan Salvatore.

She looked up at her window again, the shadow was still there and before she could think better of it she placed the feathers on the bed and went to open her curtains.

The deer caught in headlights look on his face would've been funny if she wasn't so irritated and Stefan recognised it just as easily and mumbled a "sorry".

He was starting to think that maybe she didn't know he was even out there whenever she woke up from yet another nightmare.

He could always tell the moment her breathing changed and let him know she was awake. It was the same every night, she'd wake up, go to the bathroom, come back and lay in bed until she finally fell asleep again.

She sighed in frustration before opening her window and gesturing him inside. She was inviting him in and for a moment Stefan didn't think it would work since he always believed the consent had to be verbal, but was soon proven wrong when he climbed in easily.

Bonnie was already by her nightstand scribbling something down in her journal by the time he finished closing the window again and turned it to him.

_You're being a creep._

"I don't mean to be. It's just, being around you...it helps, let's me know I'm not alone".

She hated how he always seemed to be reading her mind like that.

_I'm not going to be your crutch, Stefan._

"And I don't mean to make you one, just. Just bare with me, please" he said with pleading eyes and she stole a glance at the feathers on the bed before nodding.

"Thanks".

"You didn't go to the bathroom" Stefan noted randomly, not asking what he really wanted to ask her. She shrugged, it wasn't like she went there because she had to anyway.

Bonnie Bennett was Stefan's biggest mistery, the only thing he knew about her being that her mother was dead and only had her so she could kill Silas.

That little bit alone left a lot unsaid, a lot he wanted to know.

"Could I ask you a question that won't make you run?"

She shrugged again, that being her green light for him to go ahead, but he could already see the apprehension in her eyes.

"The first time we met, when I hallucinated you. You spoke to me" he said and she rolled her eyes because that wasn't a question, he just stated a fact.

_You didn't hallucinate me, I was in your head._

_I don't know how I did it, but my guard was down, so was yours and I guess somehow I was able to communicate with you._

That's the explanation Grams gave her anyway.  She said every witch had a special ability: Abby was a seer, Sheila was able to calm someone down by altering their feelings and she said Bonnie was a telepath.

When she was asleep her guard was down and the first thing her mind latched onto was him because of his vulnerable state. Sheila said that was the trigger so technically she played a part in her own demise.

_Grams says I'm a telepath._

"Maybe we could try it again?"

_I can't control it, Stefan_

"That's because you won't let yourself be vulnerable with me" he started, getting a little irritated by their situation. Two weeks later and they haven't gotten anywhere, she was keeping him at arms lengths and he hated it. "Bonnie, you know everything about me and all I know is that your mother didn't want you!" He almost yelled and regretted his words almost immediately.

She stumbled back in shock, his words catching her offguard and she was back in her bathroom again watching her dad scrub the blood off her hands while her brain made her cement her worst fear.

"Bonnie, I'm sorry" he said almost immediately as she brushed passed him and he grabbed her arm to keep her from running.

But nothing prepared him for what happened next.

_Stefan watched the scene in front of him in horror. There was so much blood, and yet the ripper hadn't reared his ugly head, which meant this, wherever he was, wasn't real._

_"It's real" he heard a familiar voice say behind him and he turned to see Bonnie looking at the scene in front of them._

_"She put the dagger in my hand and told me I wouldn't feel a thing. She was wrong"._

_Bonnie always came back to this memory, this was the moment her mother made good on all her promises._

_The realisation of what happened here made him want to rip someone's head off, preferrably her mother's, but there was no use crying over spilt milk. That's what Bonnie told him anyway._

_"How do you get over this, Bonnie?"_

_She looked at him for the first time since she accidentally let him in her head and hated the look of sympathy on his face, she's gotten it all her life and she didn't need it from him._

_"You don't"._

She yanked herself free from his grip and she could still see that same look of sympathy in his eyes.

"I hope you're happy now" she said feeling completely exposed in front of him as tears slipped through her eyes, but her lips weren't moving.

He pulled her against his chest without thinking and she buried her head in his chest and cried the tears she's held back for eight years. Her mind was open to him and with each memory he saw the tighter he held onto her, and the more he hated himself for what it cost her.


	11. Chapter 11

Bonnie stood at her locker pulling out her textbooks for her next class. History with Mr. Tanner, she hated that class almost as much as she hated the man himself.  
  
"The staring is creepy, Stefan" she said closing her locker and turned to look at him. As of last night, this was their new normal now. He saw everything and she hated him for pushing her the way he did, even though it gave them the breakthrough they needed.  
  
"Sorry" he mumbled and she waved him off and started walking down the hall. "I didn't think you were coming to school today, you know, since..."  
  
She did know, but she wasn't going to let that stop her.  
  
"I'm not going to hide out in my room, Stefan, I've been doing it for eight years and I'm tired. Besides, you should be happy. You got what you wanted".  
  
It was a low blow and she knew he already felt guilty about the whole thing, but she needed someone to blame and he was there.  
  
He was always there.  
  
They were silent the rest of the way to class and saw Elena and Caroline in their usual seats as they walked through the door.  
  
"Hey guys" Caroline greeted while Elena gave them an awkward smile.   
  
Caroline knew she was having a hard enough time with the break up as it is because she still loved Stefan and having Bonnie and Stefan spend so much time together wasn't helping.  
  
"Hey Care" Stefan said and Bonnie gave her a smile. She liked Caroline, she was outspoken and had no filter, which made her genuine and Bonnie appreciated that.  
  
She still wasn't comfortable with Elena though, and the girl blamed her for her break-up, as if Bonnie wanted Stefan.   
  
"You guys look like crap" Caroline said taking in Bonnie's puffy eyes and Stefan's dejected look.  
  
"That's an understatement" Bonnie said and Stefan nodded.  
  
"Yeah, it is"  
  
"What?" Caroline asked, confused. She saw the same curious look on Elena.  
  
"They can't hear me" Bonnie said catching onto their confused looks first, and here she thought they'd made headway, but Stefan was the only one that could hear her.  
  
"What do you mean they can't hear you, we did it, didn't we?"  
  
"Apparently not".  
  
"Stefan, what going on?" Elena spoke up for the first time.  
  
"Bonnie's a telepath" Stefan said and the two girls looked at her curiously. "But it looks like I'm the only one who can hear her".  
  
"Are you serious?" Caroline asked getting excited and Bonnie nodded. "Yeah".  
  
"This is good, right?"  
  
Bonnie looked down, thinking about the emotional rollercoaster she took with Stefan this morning, his guilt was weighing heavily on her shoulders.  
  
"Yeah, Care, it's good".  
  
The day went by pretty quickly and everyone ended up at the Salvatore boarding house once news of Bonnie's telepathy got back to Damon.  
  
"Well done, witchy, and here I thought you were completely useless" Damon said as they all walked through the door.  
  
"Your brother's an ass"  
  
"I know" Stefan mumbled in agreement and Bonnie stopped short. The safe catching her eye again and Stefan almost crashed right into her.  
  
"And I hate that safe".  
  
"I know".  
  
Caroline watched the pair from the couch she'd deposited herself on, listening to what seemed like a one-way conversation between Stefan and Bonnie.   
  
It wasn't anything new seeing Stefan talking to Bonnie while she looked irritated by him before scribbling something down in her journal that would effectively shut Stefan up.  
  
Anyone looking from the outside would think Stefan was that annoying relative you want to get away from just from the looks on Bonnie's face, but Caroline knew better.  
  
Bonnie was the most comfortable with Stefan and used her journal the most when he was around to make snide remarks over everything he said and these days you never found one without the other. Bonnie would probably deny it, but they were friends.  
  
What no one could figure out was what it was about Stefan that drew her to him, like right now, Stefan was somehow the only one that could hear her and no one knew why.  
  
Elena noticed them too and Caroline saw her shift uncomfortably in her seat as they watched Bonnie point at the safe Stefan was once in like it offended her.  
  
"Stefan translate" Damon said, getting everyone's attention. No one knew how it happened, but he somehow became the ringleader of their little group and even though a lot of them couldn't stand him, they didn't mind him taking the reigns.  
  
"We need to find Amara's body before Silas brings her back along with every other supernatural from the other side".  
  
"I thought Silas already had her body" Caroline asked a little confused.  
  
"Yes, but my vampire senses are tingling" Damon responded earning an eye roll from the blonde vampire. "He's had her for two weeks now and yet he hasn't woken her up yet. Something's wrong".  
  
Bonnie took in what he was saying. He was right, Silas has been waiting for thousands of years to be reunited with Amara, why wouldn't he wake her up the first chance he got.  
  
"He's been too quiet" Stefan said in thought outloud.  
  
"He's waiting for something" Bonnie said and Stefan looked at her, Damon noticed.  
  
"What is she saying?"  
  
"Silas used to be a witch, and in order to bring Amara back he's going to need magical help, and a lot of it".  
  
"Stefan!"  
  
"Nature demands balance, my mother was wrong, if Silas wakes up Amara it won't bring back every supernatural creature known to man, but it will destabilze the other side, destroying everything and since Amara is tethered to the other side. As the anchor, she'll be destroyed with it, along with the rest of us".  
  
"Stefan!" Damon growled even louder, the silent conversation making him impatient.  
  
"If Silas wakes up Amara, the other side will be destroyed along with her" Stefan started keeping his eyes on Bonnie as she continued to talk to him.  
  
"He's waiting for a celestial event, and someone to take her place".  
  
"Who?" Damon asked and Bonnie turned to Elena. With all the research she's been doing with her grams she realised that Elena is as connected to Amara as Stefan is to Silas, they are their doppelgangers after all and Amara is tethered to the other side.  
  
If Silas wanted to have even a chance of getting Amara back then he would need to trick nature into thinking that she was still there, he would need another version of her that existed, her shadow self.  
  
"That's just stalling since Elena's only a vampire, she'll never be able to keep that up since she can die" Stefan said following Bonnie's thought process and Elena didn't know which hurt more, the fact that she'd be used as a sacrifice again or the fact that Stefan didn't seem to care.  
  
"That's why he needs a celestial event" Bonnie said, trying to get him to see where she was going.  
  
"He's going to try and recreate the immortality spell".  
  
It wasn't until Stefan tapped her on the shoulder that she noticed everyone was gone. She'd zoned out after Damon had gone off on a tangent about protecting Elena and let herself be drawn in by the safe again.  
  
As much as she hated to admit it, letting Stefan into her twisted mind actually helped a little bit and there wasn't as much darkness as there was before.  
  
"Would you like me to take you home?"  
  
"Before you pushed me, I was in my head a lot. It was so bad when I was a kid that I'd think of different ways of killing myself just to get the images out of my head".  
  
"Bonnie-"  
  
"And you're doing the same thing".  
  
"I'm sorry, Bonnie" Stefan said mournfully and she waved him off.   
  
"No, I'm sorry for what I said this morning. Don't let this go to your head, but you did me a favour. Gave me something else to think about".  
  
Damon watched them from the liquor tray. He wasn't sure what they were talking about, but heard Stefan apologise before looking down shyly only moments later.  
  
Oh Stefan.  
  
Bonnie stepped into the safe and looked at Stefan. "Find something else to think about, Salvatore, and then get rid of this safe".  
  
Stefan took a step back from her, his throat closing and suddenly he couldn't breathe. Before Damon could react he saw Bonnie step out of the safe and hold onto Stefan's face, making him look at her.  
  
"Hey, hey! I'm right here. You're not alone, remember?"  
  
Damon watched Stefan open his eyes and look at her. He slowly calmed down and held onto her arms to stable himself.  
  
"I'm not alone" Damon heard him say and Bonnie nodded, giving him a sweet smile.  
  
She took his hand and they stepped into the safe together before Bonnie looked at Damon, making her silent request and he sighed before going to close the safe for them.  
  
"Eyes on me, Salvatore, I'm right here" she said when she felt him start to panic again.  
  
"You tried to kill yourself?"  
  
"Didn't try, just read about it, but it freaked my dad out pretty good".  
  
"But you thought about it".  
  
"But I thought about it".  
  
"Why didn't you go through with it?"  
  
"I realised I didn't want to leave my dad like my mom left us".   
  
They stayed quiet for a while, with Stefan squeezing her hand to make sure she was still there and suddenly the thing that trapped him for three months was the same thing bringing him closer to Bonnie.  
  
"And what about your magic?" He asked eventually and she sighed in response.  
  
"I got my magic when I was seven years old. I stopped practicing after my mom died".  
  
"But you want to, that's why you had those feathers on your bed the other night".  
  
"I knew you saw that. I'm just worried that it won't be the same".  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Witches are vocal in their craft. I might get away with a few spells, but I'm never going to be as strong as I'm supposed to be".  
  
"We'll figure it out, I promise you".  



	12. Chapter 12

“How was school?” Sheila asked the moment she heard the door open and Bonnie smiled at how her grandmother always knew it was her.

She walked into the living room and found Sheila with her grimoire and Bonnie could feel the magic pulsating through the entire house, it felt warm, welcoming and it gave her an overwhelming feeling.

“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” Sheila asked getting off the couch when she noticed her granddaughter’s look of wonder ad Bonnie couldn’t get used to how easily Sheila could read her. “Magic, it can make you feel your family’s love when used right. It wraps it’s arms around you and never lets go”.

Bonnie nodded in agreement, getting that exact feeling right now. Her grams barely knew her and yet Bonnie knew she’d take a bullet for her, telling her as much through her magic.

_Could you help me practice?_

Sheila looked at what she was writing in her journal and smiled with tears clouding her eyes.

“Of course, Child”.

Another week had passed since Bonnie was in that safe with Stefan, helping him bust out of his own mental prison. They got rid of the safe the very next day, tossing it in the quarry where it belonged and he’s even stopped making his late night visits. He was finally getting some sleep, they both were and the idea of reaching acceptance became more tangible.

She also told her grams her theory about Silas’ plan as well as her fear of practicing again and Sheila had simply taken her hands and said “Whenever you’re ready”.

And now she was so she took her grandmother’s hands and they sat cross-legged on the floor, facing each other. Sheila snapped her fingers and the feathers in her hamper lay between them.

“Concentrate” Grams started and they both closed their eyes, with Bonnie’s hands hovering over the feathers.

_Feel the magic course through your veins._

The vision of her mother teaching her for the first time broke her concentration and her eyes snapped open in the same instant she was filled with panic. All Abby ever saw her as was a weapon.

 “No!” Sheila yelled grabbing her hands and she didn’t even realize she was shaking until Sheila steadied her hands and made her look at her.

“Feel the magic, Bonnie” she said and Bonnie felt like she was being wrapped up in love again. “Feel that? You’re with me now, I’m right here” She said softly and Bonnie could see the love in her eyes, it was so palpable that it felt like she could just reach out and touch it.

_Find something else to think about._

“Forget about your mother. Focus on tapping into your power, listen to the sound of your heart beating, the sound of your lungs filling with air” Sheila said and they both closed their eyes again. “Try again”. Sheila let go and Bonnie lifted her hands again. She could feel the magic at the tip of her fingers and knew she was doing it.

She opened her eyes and saw the feathers floating around them. Sheila was smiling at her and she beamed right back at her grandmother.

“You did it, Child” she said with pride and Bonnie leaped into her arms, almost tackling her to the ground as the feathers around them fell onto the floor. “Woah there, I’m not as young as I used to be”.

_“This isn’t about you, but your death will piss her off just enough”._

“Bonnie, are you okay?” Sheila asked when she caught the horrified look on Bonnie’s face. She shook her head and got up from the floor and quickly scribbled in her journal.

_Something’s wrong, call Damon._

Sheila quickly dialled Damon’s number and was about to ask Bonnie what was wrong, but she’d already run out the door. Panic consumed Sheila with each ring until he finally picked up. “Where are you?”

“The Grill, why?” his voice came through the receiver and Sheila huffed in frustration. “Get over here now, something’s wrong”.

Bonnie was functioning on autopilot as she ran through town trying to get to him before it was too late.

She knew the way like the back of her hand, after all, she’d woken up there enough times and it’s where he was now.

_“Just bear with me”_

_“We’ll figure it out, I promise you”._

“I’m right here!” her mind screamed for him, her lungs already on fire. She could hear the water crashing onto the rocks before she came into view and saw them standing at the cliff like they’ve been waiting for her. The offensive safe stood next to them and she could see the fear in Stefan’s eyes. He didn’t want to be trapped again.

“Miss Bennett, so glad you could join us” Silas said easily, his hand still firmly against Stefan’s neck, ready to snap in off if she so much as looked at him funny.

“Get out of here, Bonnie!” Stefan’s mind kept screaming at her, but she chose to ignore him and kept her eyes on Silas.

“You know, for someone who doesn’t say much, you’re too smart for your own good” Silas said it like he was speaking about the weather. “I did think about recreating the immortality spell, after all, I was there the first time my crazy ex-fiancée created it for us the first time. But you wouldn’t believe the rude awakening I got when I tried it myself”.

“You need a Bennett witch to do it”. Stefan looked up at her in horror at what she just said. She’d kept that bit of information to herself. She knew Silas would eventually come for her, but she’d hoped she’d have more time, more time to figure out how she would stop him, more time to practice her magic and protect Elena, just, more time…

“I need a Bennett witch to do it” he finally said. She didn’t anticipate him going after Stefan to get to her, which meant he’s been watching them this whole time without her knowing. She should’ve known and now Stefan was going to die.

“Please do join us, Mr. Salvatore” His voice broke her from her thoughts and she saw Damon walk into view from the woods behind them.

“I’m going to give you the courtesy of letting my brother go before relieving your shoulders of your head” Damon smiled sarcastically and Silas actually laughed out loud, his grip on Stefan never loosening.

“Oh how I’d love to see you try, Damon, besides I’m doing you a favour. With Stefan out of the picture you have a clear shot at Elena” he said and Bonnie felt Damon stiffen next to her. “And now you’ll have to live with the fact that the last thing you ever did for your brother was try and steal his girlfriend”.

“Bonnie” Stefan called to her drawing her from the pissing contest between Damon and Silas and she looked at his comforting eyes. He was about to die and yet he was comforting her. “You’re going to be okay”.

“Shut up, Stefan” she shot back. She didn’t need him comforting her, she needed to think. She considered trying to use her magic, but didn’t think a levitation spell would do the trick, might just end up pissing him off even more.

_“Incendia”._ Abby’s voice filled her mind again. That was the first spell she ever taught her. She told her she could share her magic with another witch because of the magic that flowed through them.

_“Take the flame, Bonnie”._

Vampires were created from magic.

The realisation hit her like a ton of bricks, she might not be able to fully use her powers, but maybe Stefan could. She knew she was grasping at straws, but this was her only hope.

_“Motus!”_ Her mind screamed for Stefan to say. Transferring all her magic to him. Silas went flying the moment the words were out of his mouth and Stefan zoomed to where they stood the moment he was free from his doppelganger’s grasp. He could still feel Bonnie’s magic coursing through him and Bonnie pushed herself a little more in order for them to escape.


	13. Chapter 13

Bonnie had this friend once named Kerry. It was back in kindergarten and they became friends for the same reasons most kids their age did, because their moms were friends.

They did everything together. She still remembered their first slumber party, Abby dropped her off and told her to behave before telling her she loved her.

That night they'd stayed up late and made friendship bracelets which read 'Best friends forever'.

Forever only lasted four years though, til Abby died and Bonnie suddenly became 'the freak girl who's mom killed herself'. She never got the memo that the friendship was over though until the day Kelly and her new friends beat her up and put her in her locker. It took three hours for anyone to find her.

Bonnie never made another friend again.

Then Dr. Stevens somehow slipped through the cracks without her noticing. "I know your dad is technically paying me, but I'm still your friend, Bonnie" she'd said once and Bonnie gave her the same blank expression she did with everything else she said. It didn't matter, soon even the good doctor would see 'the freak girl who's mom killed herself'.

She wondered if being stuffed in a locker again would be punishment enough once they found out how wrong they were.

She was actually 'the freak girl who killed her own mother'.

Stefan snuck up on her though.

She didn't realize it until Caroline sat her down three days after Silas kidnapped him and explained a concept that had long ago become foreign to her.

"Friends don't keep secrets from friends" she said referring to what Bonnie told Silas. He needed a Bennett witch to recreate Qetsiyah's immortality spell.

That wasn't the problem though, Caroline explained. The problem was that she lied about it and that's why Stefan wasn't talking to her. Hasn't been for three days to be exact.

She technically hadn't lied, she just didn't mention it, but that was obviously the wrong thing to scribble down because Caroline gave her a lengthy lecture about how not saying anything was the same as lying.

"It's lying by omission" she said.

Bonnie disagreed.

Not saying anything was not saying anything and lying was lying, but she kept that to herself.

Bonnie didn't even know that She and Stefan were friends until Caroline mentioned it or the fact that it was the reason he was mad at her.

"You should've told him the truth, you should've told all of us, Bonnie". Bonnie couldn't be sure, but she sounded hurt and wondered if they were friends too and she just didn't know it.

Instead of asking her though, Bonnie only scribbled down a quick _I'm sorry_. It was only two words, but she found that she meant them. Caroline must've known it too because she gave her a warm smile before saying, "Now do that with Stefan and it'll be fine".

It was not fine.

"A simple 'I'm sorry' isn't going to fix things, Bonnie. You lied to me and put us both in danger, how am I supposed to trust you after that?" Stefan said after she'd rushed through the hallways and found him sitting at one of the tables at the library, just so she could apologize.

"You don't have to trust me, Stefan, you just have to trust that I'll do everything in my power to save you".

"And what about you, huh?" He said that a little to loudly judging by the collective Ssshhhhs that followed.

"What about me?"

"You talk about saving me and everyone else, but you won't let me do the same for you".

And another piece of concrete fell from her protective wall. He keeps doing that a lot, chiseling away at the cracks Dr. Stevens already created and suddenly her concrete wall wasn't as solid as it used to be.

If he didn't stop Bonnie wasn't sure how much longer she'd be able to protect herself from the hurt that was sure to come from being friends with Stefan Salvatore.

"I'm not important, Stefan, so stop trying to save me".

He would've thought she was kidding if not for the serious look on her face as she communicated something she knew as a fact. It was all she's ever known.

He wasn't accepting her apology, so she left.


	14. Chapter 14

Elena cornered him as he approached his car after school. "I've been psyching myself up to talk to you for three days" was her opening line. She looked nervous and Stefan felt bad for the strain in their relationship.

She felt blindsided by the break-up, even though it was something she probably should've seen coming, and as much as her feelings for Stefan far outweighed her feelings for Damon, they were still there, and that was the problem.

Being in that safe opened Stefan's eyes to that, so he had to let go.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay" she sounded almost shy and Stefan nodded, giving her a sweet smile. She missed that smile being reserved just for her and swallowed the lump in throat as she thought about how it was reserved for someone else now.

"I'm fine thank you, Elena". She returned his smile and Stefan tried not to think about how she found out about his kidnapping.

He couldn't wait for the day it didn't sting anymore.

He was getting there though, his mind already drifting and almost as if he'd conjured her up, Bonnie walked through the doors of Mystic High with Caroline by her side.

He was mad at her, though it was considerably less mad than before, but still mad nonetheless.

You'd think being able to access someone's mind would make you understand them more, but for Stefan, that wasn't the case.

Her thought process never included herself, she was just a weapon. That's all she saw herself as because that's all she's ever known.

"I never got any closure, Stefan" Elena said. She was fiddling with her fingers and didn't notice Stefan's eyes wonder across the school yard. "You just broke up with me and I don't understand why". Her head got why, it was her heart that was having trouble deciphering Stefan's code because her heart was still very much his and she thought it would always be that way.

She knew she'd lost him the moment Stefan met the girl who saved his life. She knew what they didn't and made them feel crappy for it. It wasn't intentional, ofcourse, but Bonnie didn't even know Stefan and yet she saw something the rest of them couldn't.

At first Elena could easily blame it on her withcraft, but it was getting harder now.

"I still love you, Stefan" she said, the tears getting harder to hold back and Stefan reached for her right hand, it was comforting, but it wasn't intimate. Not like it used to. "I can't just turn off my feelings and pretend like I'm not hurting or scared".

"And you shouldn't have to" Stefan whispered, wiping away a stray tear before pulling her to his chest and letting her cry as much as she needed to while he mumbled how sorry he was into her hair.

"You are important" Stefan said after yet another meeting about how they were going to find Amara's body and stop Silas. Bonnie was having trouble getting her magic to work again through Stefan for a simple locator spell and the whole situation was getting frustrating because if she couldn't do this then what was she good for?

She didn't realise that everyone had left until Stefan pulled her from her thoughts and led her to his room.

"And not for the reason you're thinking. You're important because you care, Bonnie, probably too much and you're important because you're smart and funny, even though you probably don't mean to be and most importantly, you're important because even after everything you've been through you still made room in your heart to love an old woman you've only recently met".

He changed his weapon of choice, was oddly the first thing that crossed her mind. The chisel clearly not doing the trick and replaced it with a wrecking ball instead and Bonnie didn't stand a chance.

"When I was running to get to you I kept thinking 'what if I didn't make it, what then?'" The thought was running through her head before she could stop it and she could almost feel as deprived of air as she did then. "They tell you that it will get better. They tell you, that what you're feeling now won't last forever and that time heals all wounds...

But what happens when it doesn't, what happens then? And I would hate you for undoing all my progress if you decided to die".

The smile that overtook his face was so bright it rivaled the sun and he pulled her into his arms before she could protest.

"I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me" he whispered into her hair.

"Yeah well don't get used to it, Salvatore" her mind supplied and she was already hating herself for falling into the trap of feeling too much.


	15. Chapter 15

Abby used to tell her to never trust her eyes, "They are the greatest deceivers" she'd say.  
  
Bonnie never understood what she meant by that, if her eyes couldn't be trusted then what else could she depend on to show her the truth.   
  
That was until she came across a quote after Abby died, it was something Oprah Winfrey said. She said intuition doesn't lie, that you should trust your instincts.   
  
But that quote never sat well with her, no, it couldn't be that simple because what happens when your instincts are screwed up and everything you thought was real, everything you thought you knew was all wrong?  
  
What then?  
  
She would think about that when her lungs weren't being strained from the lack of air and everything wasn't turned on it's head since the gravity of the situation was made more apparent by the full moon lighting her way  
  
Discovering the secrets of the universe would have to wait.  
  
She was running again, the boarding house was all the way across town and not being able to drive, she couldn't exactly take her grams' car and she didn't have the heart to wake her up. If she was going to succeed in protecting anyone, it would be her.  
  
_"Wake up, Bonnie"_  
  
_She knew the voice sounded familiar the moment she opened her eyes._  
  
_"It's starting"._  
  
"Bonnie, what is it, what's wrong?" The concern was thick in Stefan's voice the moment she bust through the door and finally let herself breathe.  
  
This whole mess started because she was drawn to him for a reason unknown to any of them. She had her theories ofcourse, but she was wrong, she was so wrong.   
  
"It's Amara".  
  
  
_"How is this possible?"_  
  
_"Qetsiyah and I were sisters, she was my best friend, my confidant" she chuckled "We were so close that our mama called us shadows. I was Qetsiyah's shadow and she was mine"._  
  
_She could still hear the remnants of her sisters laughter at the thrill of escaping their daily duties._  
  
_"Mother will not be pleased, actually I am certain we will meet our deaths when we go back home"._  
  
_"Then we shall never go home then, as long as we have each other we will be fine"._  
  
_"As the story goes, we fell in love with the same man"._  
  
_"Silas"._  
  
_Amara nodded, the sorrow in her eyes was so pulpable that Bonnie thought she might touch it._  
  
_"They were betrothed and my sister was in love with him"._  
  
_"What about you?"_  
  
_"Me? I was pulled in by his heart. We befriended each other and spent time together when my sister went out hunting with our father. It was her path to womanhood._  
  
_I had two more years before father would do the same with me. You see, back then, Bennetts weren't just witches, we were warriors" she said thoughtfully and Bonnie wondered if she was still mourning events that happened two thousand years ago._  
  
_"He told me that I allowed him to be himself, he didn't have to pretend to be someone he was not, and I knew I was in love with him._  
  
_It was the guilt that started chipping away at my soul so when she told me she wanted him forever, I knew what she was thinking, after all, I thought the same thing._  
  
_I was so consumed by him that I lost the only person that ever truly loved me, I lost my shadow"._  
  
_"Qetsiyah!" She screamed again as they ran through the woods. Her voice was raw from screaming after her for the past fifteen minutes and yet her sister didn't show any signs of slowing down. She wouldn't slow down either._  
  
_She found them in the woods kissing, though from her sister's perspective it probably looked like a lot more than what it was._  
  
_Every bone in her body had screamed for her not to do it, but she was consumed again. This would be their last night together before Silas married her sister._  
  
_It wasn't until a few minutes into their kissing that Silas presented her with the vial. "This way we can be together forever" he said and she froze in place. It was halfway empty, he drank it already and she looked up to see his sparkling green eyes as he waited for her to say something, anything._  
  
_He was confident that she would choose him, over her family, over her dearest sister and she couldn't even take offense because her actions hadn't exactly proven otherwise._  
  
_She couldn't even lash out at him for betraying her sister because hadn't she done the same._  
  
_She didn't have time to do anything though before she felt her shadow behind her and turned around in time to see Qetsiyah with tears in her eyes before she took off._  
  
_She somehow caught up to her and grabbed her shoulder, but she wouldn't turn around. "Qetsiyah, I'm so sorry"._  
  
_"I couldn't reach her. She was right in front of me and I couldn't reach her" Amara said and Bonnie thought she was crying, but couldn't tell because the heavens had opened up and started pouring on them._  
  
_The angels are crying._  
  
_"I thought I knew my sister, Bonnie, but we all have secrets. Hers was creating the other side, a place where supernatural creatures would go and be reunited with their families after they die. A place where they could live in peace._  
  
_But the otherside needed a doorway for everyone to come in, someone with a foot on both sides, an anchor. That was her plan"._  
  
_"She was going to make herself the anchor" Bonnie said in understanding. Qetsiyah wanted to do this for her family, for every supernatural._  
  
_Amara nodded, "But the consequences were great. The first immortal had been created and the spirits weren't happy. No one was meant to live forever and if she became the Anchor they would torture her for all eternity"._  
  
_"You took her place"._  
  
_Bonnie was definitely sure those were tears in her eyes this time. "After everything I did to her, I owed her that much"._  
  
_"If Silas wakes me up, everything my sister did would've been for nothing. You have to stop him" Amara said with a sudden urgency._  
  
_"How am I supposed to do that?"_  
  
_As if it would solve everything, Bonnie got a sense of deja vu as Amara's face changed in front of her._  
  
"It's me" she heaved, trying to catch her breath. "Silas wants to use me".  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

Silas was always watching them, so no one should've been surprised when he finally came to collect.

"Witches created a spell to produce what they called esoteric blood in order to tap into dark magic, it was their 'celestial event' so to speak, helped them get the magical boost they needed" Silas said keeping a firm grip on Bonnie's arm as he dragged her through the woods. They were getting closer to where he'd kept Amara's body and the anticipation of finally getting his love back after so many centuries made him less snappier than usual. He just needed the witch to co-operate.

That first time he saw Bonnie, at the grill, he almost let himself believe that it was _her._ They looked exactly the same, and yet he could pick out their differences.

Like the anxiety.

The witch looked about ready to jump out of her skin when she realised where they were whereas Amara was confident and held her head up high no matter what came her way.

She caught him though, but Silas didn't mind. He'd finally found a way to bring Amara back.

"What they didn't realise though, was that their victims could pass down esoteric blood through generations and when other supernatural creatures like that hybrid, Klaus, were made aware of this 'gift', and I use the term loosely, they could exploit it" Then he bust out laughing as if he'd just told the funniest joke ever and Bonnie squirmed a little under his firm grip, but he was too strong.

"That's actually why I chose her" he managed to get out between his maniacal  laughing and Bonnie could see the tears in his eyes.

"Your little friends were so set in their ways, especially that Damon, huh?" He asked as if expecting her to respond.

"And you just took everything at face value. You really shouldn't always believe what you see, but then again I guess you never had a mother to teach you that, huh?" He grabbed her face then, forcing her to look at him with his cold eyes staring right at her and she could feel her magic begging to be unleashed on him, but she needed Stefan.

That was the thing, Bonnie always needed someone. She needed her mom to choose her, her doctor to help her be an acceptable member of society, and her bond with Stefan to help her use her magic.

She wasn't going to cry in front of him though, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her break.

Elena jumped at the sound of Stefan ramming his fist through the wall. "The wall didn't do anything to you, Stefan" Damon said and had his back slammed against the wall in the next second with Stefan's hand blocking his airway. He growled at Damon, his hand threatening to snap his neck if he breathed another word.

"Stefan, let him go" Caroline pleaded just as upset. Stefan called them after Bonnie showed up at the boarding house and told them what happened. She was Amara's doppelganger, everything they knew was wrong.

She grabbed the hand on around Damon's neck and pried it away. "Fighting isn't going to help Bonnie".

"I promised her that I would protect her" he whispered with tears filling his eyes and Caroline pulled him into her arms. "I know, and we'll get her back, okay! We still have time".

Damon recovered quickly and put his hand on Stefan's shoulder in comfort. They needed to get the witch back before Silas used her as a human sacrifice and they needed Stefan's connection to her to do it.

It made sense now, why they were so connected. "You need to pull yourself together, brother" he said using his leader voice and Stefan looked up from Caroline's shoulder. "You need to find her".

Stefan nodded in agreement. Damon was an ass, but he was an ass he could count on.

Stefan knew that Bonnie struggled with channeling her magic, but even in her struggle he could always feel her reaching out to him. It was like remnants of her magic were left behind everywhere she went.

He could almost hear Bonnie telling him to focus, to listen to her heartbeat, to let her magic wrap itself around him and he forget he had an audience as he looked for Bonnie's magic.

_Amara's coffin separated Stefan from Bonnie and Silas who stood on the other side. They were at the cemetery standing in front of the Bennett family cript with the moon shining above them and Stefan could see the firm grip Silas had on Bonnie's arm._

_He didn't think they could see him until Bonnie looked up at him with a sad smile on her face. "We're coming for you, Bonnie, okay? I won't let him use you"._

_"I know" she said and he would've missed the dagger hidden under the sleeve of her pyjama top if she didn't look down at her hands._

_"Bonnie, no"_

_"I think finally understand now" she looked up at him again, but with tears in her eyes._

_"Bonnie, don't do this we'll find another way" he pleaded with her, but he knew that she'd made up her mind even before she said anything._

_"This is the only way, Salvatore. He can't hurt anyone if I'm out of the picture"._


	17. Chapter 17

"She's at the cemetery" Stefan barely got out before speeding out the door with Caroline hot on his heel, and the memory of Bonnie stabbing Abby was playing in his head.

Damon was about to head out after them when he noticed Elena still sitting on the couch with tears in her eyes.

She saw him kneel in front of her, but kept her eyes on the ground unable to look at him. "He never acted like that with me" she whispered when she felt Damon's hand in hers, urging her to speak up.

"I guess I understand now, it was always going to be her wasn't it?" She asked finally looking at him and that's when Damon saw it.

There was no hope for Elena.

This was all there was to her and that wasn't going to change anytime soon. She was a good actress though he'd give her that, she'd fooled everyone and they'd  let her pull them into her orbit.

Somehow Stefan escaped, and he wanted to escape too.

"Now's not the time for this, Elena, we have to go", but she was already shaking her head and it kinda shocked him that he was not surprised at all.

"This isn't my fight, Damon" her voice cracked and Damon would've felt bad for her if he wasn't a frequent player in her little game, "so I uh, I think I'm gonna go home".

He got on his feet then. A part of him always knew that this was who she was, even welcomed this part of her because it made them so compatible, but who she was didn't match with who he was anymore and that was okay.

So with one last glance at her he told her to close the door behind her when she leaves and went after his brother.

They were too late though.

_"It's nice to finally meet you, Bonnie" Amara said standing in front of her mirror image. The resemblance was uncanny and yet Bonnie felt intimidated by the other woman. "We're more alike than you think Bonnie, otherwise you wouldn't be standing in front of me right now" Amara said reading her face. The girl wore her heart on her sleeve and didn't even know it._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"You care, Bonnie and that's your weapon. It's how we survive"._

_Amara grabbed her hand before she could respond and screamed in agony, the pain of Bonnie's death coursing through her body._

_Bonnie opened her eyes again. She was still in the cemetery, her body a few feet away with Stefan clutching it in his arms while Damon and Caroline stood a few feet away. Their eyes filled with sorrow._

_She was out of time and this was the only way. Stefan got there right after she'd done it, she'd timed it just right. She knew he'd find her right after he tracked her magic and while Silas was distracted by Amara she'd stabbed herself in the heart because no one was going to die because of her._

_"As many times as I've seen this very scene, I still can't look at it for too long" a familiar voice said from behind her._

_Scared to turn around, Bonnie took a deep breathe somehow hoping this was another one of her dreams._

_"Hello baby" Abby said as she came to stand beside her, unable to look at her daughter's lifeless body any longer. She'd seen it enough times in her head and didn't need to look to know that her baby was dead._

_"Am I..." Bonnie's voice came out hollow and Abby shook her head. She knew what she was thinking, she'd been torturing herself with it for eight years after all._

_"No, you're on the other side"._

_"You knew, didn't you? Who she is? What I'd do?" Bonnie asked curiously and Abby nodded._

_"You can't change who you are, Bonnie. You were always going to end up here no matter what happened, because that's who you are. You protect everyone else before you protect yourself. This way I made sure you got a chance to live too" Abby said placing her hand on her daughter's cheek. Her fully grown beautiful teenage daughter._

_"You took my place" Bonnie whispered with tears in her eyes and Abby only stood in awe of how strong she was, seeing her alive today made everything she's ever done worth it._

_"This isn't how your story ends, Bonnie. I made sure of that" she said and Bonnie surged forward without thinking, burying her head in the crook of her mother's neck and cried for all the years she's had to live without her mother. For thinking she didn't love her when really she loved her more than Bonnie would ever know._

_"I love you, Bonnie bear" her voice cracked and she kissed her forehead one last time before letting go._

_"Now go make me proud"._

Bonnie gasped as the air filled her lungs again.

She understood.

Mark Twain once said that the most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Abby always knew her fate. She had to live knowing that Bonnie wouldn't get to, so she did something about it.

She knew why she was born the day she gave birth to Bonnie and she fulfilled that purpose when she saw her daughter's life as more important than her own.

She saved her life.

Amara said that caring is her weapon. It took her a minute to understand what she meant, but she finally got it. In a world so dark, it needs people who care.

People who are willing to risk their lives and fight for their world, not just for themselves, but for future generations. That's why she was important, and Bonnie knew that now.

Abby cared too.

So does Stefan, and Damon, and Caroline. It was their weapon, and that's why they were going to win.

She didn't know how much she'd yearned for it until Stefan captured her lips with his , kissing her like a man deprived and she let herself melt into it, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

The moment was short lived though as Silas unleashed his magic on them and Stefan was sent flying across the cemetery, hitting his head on a gravestone.

Damon and Caroline surged towards Silas, but were sent flying as well. "You think you can play with me, Little Witch" Silas spat, the venom dripping from his voice as the wind picked up, letting her know how pissed off he really was and she got on her knees looking at where Stefan had landed. He was already getting up when their eyes met.

But there was no time for her to do anything though as Silas picked her up by her neck while he kept the others paralysed with his magic and Bonnie could feel herself running out of oxygen.

His rage was pulpable and Bonnie couldn't trust that he wouldn't kill her, but she wasn't about to waste her mother's sacrifice.

"Stefan!" Her mind called out to him and he was on high alert even as Silas' spell left him paralysed. "Concentrate".

_"Phasmatos infero Eseri Gratas, disasustos vom, Mas Pro Je Ta Sue Te. Victamas Veras"_ The spell reluctantly flowed from his lips as he tried to break free from the hold he was in. _“Phasmatos Tribum, Niha Sue Exilum, Disasustos Vom, Mas Pro Je Ta Sue Te”_.

Silas' grip loosened from around her neck and he dropped her as his bones started breaking, making his body twist unnaturally.

Stefan kept at it and he could see Damon and Caroline being released from their hold as well.

" _Phasmatos infero Eseri Gratas, disasustos vom, Mas Pro Je Ta Sue Te. Victamas Veras"_ Bonnie's voice screamed in his head to repeat while she was hunched over, coughing painfully as air filled her lungs again, but she never broke their connection.

This was too important. It was for everything she and Stefan went through, it was for the sacrifice Abby made, and it was for countless victims that have died at Silas' hand.

She could hear the agony in his voice as he screamed for them to stop.

This wouldn't kill him though, no, he still had his immortality, but she had the reversal spell memorized.

She's heard it in her head one million times after Abby's death. She'd heard Abby mumble it as she made Bonnie drive a dagger through her heart as she gave up her immortality for her, and Bonnie had it memorized.

_"Phasmatos veras nos ex malom. Terra mora vantis quo incandis per vasa quo errum signos_ ".

"No!" Silas recocognized the spell as it starting flowing from Stefan's mouth and he knew this was the end.

"Bonnie, please!"

_"Phasmatos veras nos ex malom. Terra mora vantis quo incandis per vasa quo errum signos_ ".

Bonnie barely heard the tree fall over in a distance from the force of the wind and if she wasn't on her hands and knees she was sure she would've flown away by now.

_"Phasmatos veras nos ex malom. Terra mora vantis quo incandis per vasa quo errum signos_ " Stefan screamed over the sound of the blowing wind one last time before everything went quiet.

The wind stopped blowing and all they could hear were Silas' silent cries for them to stop, but it was already done.

Stefan sped up to her and helped her get to her feet before checking to see that Damon and Caroline were okay. He pulled Bonnie into his arms and practically squeezed the life out of her, "You did it" he whispered in her ear and she shook her head.

"We did it".

Stefan reluctantly let go of her and let her walk towards Silas. He was still hunched over on his hands and knees and looked up at her with so much hate in his eyes that Bonnie was sure that he didn't see her as Amara's look alike anymore.

"I'm going to give you two options" Stefan translated what she was thinking. "I can either take your magic and then you leave here and never come back, or you can let me kill you. Either way, I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone else".

She kneeled down in front of him. "Amara loves you, Silas, but she wouldn't let you destroy people's lives just to be with her, that's toxic and it's not what she wants from you. She's on the other side, if you want to be with her then that's where you need to be".

"All I ever wanted was to be with her" he said softly and Bonnie nodded before picking up the dagger she previously used on herself. "Let me do it" he said and she agreed and handed it to him before getting on her feet again and Stefan took her hand, keeping her close.

Then they watched Silas walk over to Amara's coffin and promise to see her soon before he plunged the dagger through his heart.


	18. Chapter 18

Two weeks later  
  
Bonnie ran down her porch steps and into Stefan's car, who wasted no time before pulling her in for a kiss she sunk into.  
  
She decided a while ago that kissing him was her favorite thing in the world and she liked that he seemed to agree.  
  
"I'm barely in the car, Salvatore" she hummed, pulling away on slightly and he kissed her again for good measure.  
  
"It's not my fault your lips are irresistible" he responded and she let him kiss her one more time before deciding they'd be late for school if they didn't get a move on.  
  
Caroline was already waiting for them by the time they got to school and gave them a knowing smile as they approached her hand in hand.  
  
"And with five minutes to spare this time, you guys are getting better at keeping time" she said in greeting before giving Bonnie a hug.  
  
"Hello to you too, Care".  
  
She's been working on her telepathy since everything happened and she was getting alot better at opening up her mind so other than Stefan, Grams, Caroline and Damon could also hear her.  
  
Grams actually cried the first time she heard her voice in her head and told her nothing would ever sound more beautiful to her, which Bonnie actually took as an ego boost.  
  
"No time for chitchat, Bonnie Bennett" Caroline said already pulling her by the arm and towards the school building while Stefan chuckled behind them. "We gotta get to class before Mr. Tanner decides to make an example of us".  
  
They got there just as the warning bell went off with Mr. Tanner walking in right behind them, and she thanked her lucky stars that they made it in time.  
  
"Okay, so once upon a time our home state of Virginia joined confederacy in 1861, it created a tremendous amount of tension within the state. People in Virginia's northwest region had different ideals than those from the traditional deep south. Then Virginia divided in 1863 with the northwest region joining the union..."  
  
"So my dad wants me to go visit him in New York" Bonnie said stealing a glance at Stefan who was in the seat beside her.  
  
"When are we leaving?"   
  
She smiled at the idea of him meeting her dad and was excited about going to visit him, even if it was just for the school holiday.  
  
"You wanna tag along, Salvatore?"   
  
"I'd follow you anywhere, Bennett, not in a creepy way though. We both know how you feel about creeps" he said, Mr. Tanner's class already forgetten as they escaped to their own little world.  
  
"I don't know, this one creep I know is kinda growing on me".  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave a Kudos and comment!!


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